shout out to girls with harsh voices and boys with fat thighs and to people who dont like a tv show but will still watch it with a good attitude if their friend wants to watch it and shout out to people who only rarely talk to their pets in baby voices and also to people who laugh at their own jokes and people who draw angry eyebrows on billboards i love you all
Last year i had this roommate that randomly liked to practice giving birth for fun.
Who invented the blow job?
Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
When you listen to a song you used to listen to ages ago and you get that weird as fuck spine chilling feeling as you remember how your life was at that point in time
*on my deathbed*
nurse: do you have any last words
me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….
*the light goes out of my eyes*
*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*
*the paper says one word only*